I cannot take the credit for this amusing title. That lovely honour goes to the Straits Times. “Great” was added by me though 🙂
Let us go straight to….
Lesson one: How to make money during crisis
The most wanted man in Singapore is on the loose and Singaporeans are desperate for more information.
What should the Straits Times do? Ans: They continue to only offer a few free stories online.
So what if i want to read more? Ans: Buy the printed version of course.
Moral of this free story: when there is blood on the streets, sell newspapers
Lesson two: Sorry? Why explain when you can investigate
We owe a debt to james gomez for introducing the word “sorry” to the PAP. Apparently now, “sorry but still must explain” has been substituted with “this should never have happened. I am sorry that it has”
Moral of this sorry state of affairs: Sorry isnt the hardest word
Lesson three: Why settle for being Mayor when you can be Minister for Home Affairs
If the fuck up of the century involves your ministry, what do you do? Point finger at the big boss la.
Dr Teo Ho Pin, Law and Home Affairs Government Parliamentary Committee chairman asked Minister Wong in parliament why he took so long to inform the public. This can actually be read as “Jialat la you, I would have informed straight away. Hsien Loong are you listening?”
Moral of the story: when shit hits the fan, shit and shit somemore
Lesson four: When first you dont suceed, try somethingelse
Is this a massive manhunt for a fujitive or a massive manhunt for recruits? I can’t reprint the article as it is not available online (point 1 again) but on page 4 of the Home section in the ST today, we have a lovely series of shots promoting the various uniformed personnel involved in the search.
Thanks to this lovely recruitment drive, i now know what a SAF Guardman, SAF Military Policeman, Police Officer, Police Special Operations Command officer and Gurkha looks like. Where do i sign up?
Moral of the story: When someone gives you lemons, make lemonade