Archive | April, 2010

The Best True Story Behind The Most Fake True Affair that never Happened

5 Apr

The Best True Story Behind The Most Fake True Affair that never Happened

Being a pathetic human being trapped in a squalid 4-roomer in the heartland of the hinterland of Singapore, over the years, I admit to sheepishly enjoying a CH8 drama or two. But these days, “real” world news is more interesting than fiction and far more fantastical. And being the coach potato film-critic extraordinaire that I am – and if I had to put myself out on a limb – I would declare that the Foyce Le Sex Tape expose is a forerunner for the an Oscar for The Best True Story Behind The Most Fake True Affair that never Happened.


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Synopsis

Foyce Le Xuan, the 29-year-old actress and singer alleged to be in a sex video with Singaporean director Jack Neo, presented four points of evidence to prove that she was not the woman featured in a photograph of the supposed video.  Lianhe Wanbao reported that a mystery person had threatened to publish a video of Jack Neo in bed with Ms Le unless the director went public with his comments about his alleged affair with Ms Le.

The email received by the Chinese daily came with a photo said to be a still frame from the footage.

The Suspect has an Alibi

According to a Shin Min Daily News report, Ms Le said that four points about the woman in the image could prove that she was not the woman in the photo.

1.  She said that the woman in the photo had a flat foot, a condition suffered by primates and not herself

2 The woman in the video still was also observed by Ms Le to have size seven feet, but Ms Le said that she only wore size three shoes.
3 She also pointed out that the woman in the image had clean legs while hers are riddled with 5 cents and 10 cents.

4. She also observed that the woman in the photo was of a larger build than she was.

Foyce Le did an exceptionally good job of proving she is not the woman in that sex tape, but did little to prove she never had sex with Jack Neo;  she even denied going to a hotel with him.

Her immediate response was “I have never gone to the hotel with Jack Neo. This is an act of malice. I made a police report as I am afraid that people will make a fake CD to malign me and Jack Neo.”


Clues are present before hand

This leaves readers confused as on 15 March when asked if Jack had sex with her, she replied: “If I confess to this, the matter will blow up.”.

Spin doctors behind the Temasek Review were quick to note that non-committal reply seemed to suggest that she did have “intimate” contact with Jack or otherwise she would have answered “NO” immediately. Somehow you knew this would not be the end of the mystery.

Mystery Solved

Alas, like every mystery faced by Scooby-Doo and gang, the mystery person behind the phantom happenings is revealed in the end and the villain utters:  “And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”.

And as expected, the character that appears least likely to be guilty often is. Remember that the clues were there before hand for you to piece together? Well……..

… The mystery person is the dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude.

For the Shaggys in the house who are slower to connect the dots, the mystery man is a Temasek Review “Correspondent”, pretending to be an “imposter”.

JJ Abraham are you paying attention?