MOE Sexperts: Having the Expertise without the Sex?

5 Jul

I got a confession to make lah. Something that mummy wouldn’t be too happy if she reads about it (luckily she doesn’t even have a handphone :p). Like many of my readers (yes, you!), I too engaged in pre-marital sex despite mum telling me it was wrong (she didn’t even liked the fact I had a ‘steady’), despite my teachers advising against it and despite my own realization that if shit were to happen, I probably can’t clean up after myself. But, I have to admit, it did felt good, too good (who was I kiddin’ with my guilt trip).

The Ambivalent Teacher

I used to go out with this lass who was also a teacher long long time ago and boy was she hot or what. She was not only hot, she was very intelligent too. Like you could never get bored with her around, she was so well-read and her interests so wide-ranging that the conversation never stops with her. Despite being very knowledgeable, she was very tolerant of divergent views and never forced herself onto others (at least not in that way).

Get this, she was damn sexy as well, which is different from “I think she was sexy”. She was so confident of her sexuality that she would go out and get herself nice lingerie or outfits so that she could, you know, we could, you know…normally it would be the guy initiating but hey she was leading it (but it was always with the necessary precautions). I never met a girl like that, ever. Too bad, we broke up because we were always arguing and fighting, guess we were too much alike. Headstrong.

We still have mutual friends and they tell me she’s married and mother of two now, very good in teaching and a very responsible parent. I bumped into her once and her kids are angels, so much more well-behaved as compared to mine brats. And I would think she would make such a great sexuality programme teacher, (even when she was single and no longer a vergeen) because she was well-informed, street-smart, knew what are the the best practices and the risks if one doesn’t follow best practices.  And, she was tolerant of other sexual orientations but at the same time knew that this society is not yet ready to accept them in their full glory. Above all, despite of her non-abstinence, she was a person of good character and join the teaching service out of her good heart for her students.

MOE Sexuality Programme

Even as MOE clarifies on its Facebook that they are not looking for vergeens, the main criteria for selecting teachers to teach sex education must not only be goody-two-shoes angels. They must have a right mix of moral character and also street smart-ness so that they can impart not only what is in the textbook but also out there in the real world…a wild world. Of course, parents hold the first line of defense; and MOE or teachers shouldn’t be mindlessly blamed when things go south.

And even as we impart the mainstream values (a euphemism for ‘right values’), which is abstinence, what are the chances that our kids will stay as vergeens till the night of their marriage vows. I am not too optimistic of my own brats. I even struggle to think of a name among my close friends who remained chaste until they put on their ring (which means there was none!). And that was decade ago! With the omnipresence of the Internet and 3G phones now, what are the chances…

But it doesn’t mean that we should stop imparting kids mainstream values, at least when they are still relevant. As a parent, I think that is the right thing to do. Both pre-marital and extra-marital should be mildly frowned upon by the ‘mainstream’, look at our divorce rates! I was a heavy smoker and I used to smoke more than a pack a day, does that mean all the nagging asking me to quit smoking should stop? So I find it quite peculiar when bloggers and writers like Jen (jentrifiedcitizen.wordpress) and Kirsten write to criticize MOE’s approach to this topic. Fark sake’s, for once I think they did right and no one agrees with me? As long as they teach abstinence and protection, I don’t see how they cannot complement one another in this modern age.

We should take a liberal view on things when they are applicable to our society and not just a blind pursuit of liberalism. For eg, Pink Dot, tolerance and understanding of LGBT relationships and the repeal of 377A are just causes. But if we sit and think about it, is it a coincident that the anti-death penalty, anti-ISA, pro-human rights, absolute freedom of expression and assembly, anti-free market economy, more welfarism are also the same group of people? Hmmmm….

Parents can read more about the programme here. For a funny take, read Mr Brown’s blog. And before I forget, if you vehemently oppose the sexuality programme, as a parent, you can opt your child out if it.

Btw, I just found the perfect picture to start talking about the difference between fertilization and fornication with my brats.

P.S. Mum, really sorry to disappoint you so many times when I was younger, it must have been the nicotine and alcohol (amongst others) screwing up the otherwise rational me.


6 Responses to “MOE Sexperts: Having the Expertise without the Sex?”

  1. beng soon July 6, 2012 at 8:39 am #

    Sometimes I wonder if Kirsten and all these women leading the liberal charge in Singapore get any action? I know Rachel was out with Seelan some time back but he really broke her heart when he got a hot chick. Love aches.

    And yah MOE should include a small chapter on LGBT and rising divorce rates in Sg. I am ok with LGBT people just that sometimes they are a bit pushy with this equality thing?

  2. The July 6, 2012 at 1:21 pm #

    /// Despite being very knowledgeable, she was very tolerant of divergent views and never forced herself onto others (at least not in that way). ///

    Despite? You mean if one is knowledgeable, one should be intolerant of divergent views? It should be the contrary – she is tolerant BECAUSE she’s knowledge, not DESPITE.

    • unbrandedbreadnbutter July 6, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

      Hey thanks. You are right. Maybe when I was writing I was thinking of another friend who is very well read but not very tolerant. I.e. since he knows so much, he must know best. Thanks for reading so carefully.

  3. Unbranded BreadnButter July 6, 2012 at 6:23 pm #

    Kids as young as 11 years old start on this sexuality prog and it is good that we start them young – and I think abstinence should apply to those below 16 years old as it can be considered statutory rape. Those who still go thru the sexuality prog till they are 18 years old should then be exposed to another facet of sex in relationships. Parents can also opt out of this prog if they do not agree with the way it is being taught. Sadly, none of these points were covered by the Yahoo article.

  4. ape@kinjioleaf July 6, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

    Woah! With teachers like the one shown here, I would not skip a single lesson and even volunteer for remedial class… but that wouldn’t necessarily translate into better grades 😀

    I do agree that sex education should not leave out abstinence because that is also a form of protection. The key point sex education should focus on is being responsible to ourselves.


  1. Daily SG: 6 July 2012 | The Singapore Daily - July 6, 2012

    […] for teachers – deuniques: 003: SEXUALITY EDUCATION – Unbranded Bread n Butter: MOE Sexperts: Having the Expertise without the Sex? – Kirsten Han: Sexuality education in Singapore – Whose values are we teaching? – […]

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